During a time when there isn’t much to laugh about, BIC comes through with a new product that has elicited some, urrr, interesting responses.
Bic has come up with pens made especially for women. According to Amazon, the Cristal For Her Ballpoint Pens offer:
- Elegant design - just for her!
- Medium 1.0 mm point, Black ink
- Thin barrel to fit a women's hand
- Medium 1.0 mm point
- Black ink
How very…quaint. I appreciate the fact that BIC looked at my tiny little embarassing woman hands and decided that the regular “manly” pens were obviously effecting my ability to function in the real world. 0_o Apparently, others felt the same. The best part in all this is the response it has generated in reviews on Amazon (both US and UK). They have managed to unite the sexes in an onslaught of scathing, hilarious reviews as both the sexes take to their computers to tell BIC exactly what they think of this new product.
M Holloway claims, “I never did very well at school. I wanted to learn and it felt like all the words I needed were right there in my head, but I just couldn't get them onto the paper in front of me. If I really pushed myself, I could sometimes manage to draw pretty flowers in the margins but this didn't please Sir and I was soon in all the bottom sets. What really confused me is that I had no problems in cookery or textiles. At the time I didn't understand why I could grip and use a wooden spoon or sewing needle but couldn't properly hold my black-coloured pen for more than 45 seconds without dropping it on the floor and weeping.
Now I've gone back to night school and hope to realise my ambition of enrolling on a childcare course next year. I'm also halfway through writing an erotic novel set in Victorian times - but with vampires!”
jonny thinks, “This pen is great. I bought it for all my female friends and relatives. It enabled them, finally, to write things (although they may not yet know to do so on paper; but you can only expect so much, really). I thought they were just a bit slow.
My mother, a hard-working woman who raised twelve kids single-handedly whilst doing all the ironing (as nature intended), was furtively abashed by her illiteracy. Long would she gaze upon her husband and sons' scrawlings and would dedicate five minutes a day (which she really should have spent making sandwiches) to pray that one day she would be granted the ability to create such scribbles of her own. She's still a little slow on the uptake, but this product has definitely helped start the ball rolling. We tried to give her men's pens but she used to rip the cartridges out and drink the ink. Typical woman”
Tracy Hamilton gushingly praises BIC…“Someone has answered my gentle prayers and FINALLY designed a pen that I can use all month long! I use it when I'm swimming, riding a horse, walking on the beach and doing yoga. It's comfortable, leak-proof, non-slip and it makes me feel so feminine and pretty! Since I've begun using these pens, men have found me more attractive and approachable. It has given me soft skin and manageable hair and it has really given me the self-esteem I needed to start a book club and flirt with the bag-boy at my local market. My drawings of kittens and ponies have improved, and now that I'm writing my last name hyphenated with the Robert Pattinson's last name, I really believe he may some day marry me! I'm positively giddy. Those smart men in marketing have come up with a pen that my lady parts can really identify with.”
While we all know these are fake reviews, not a novelty on Amazon, they all seem to quote the same theme.
WTH was BIC thinking?
We are even offered warnings by some reviews such as Rachel who warns…”If you identify as male do NOT use this product. The "for her" label is not just a gimmick exploiting archaic gender constructs, it's a WARNING. Even if you're a boy who likes pastels and glitter (which really I don't see why you shouldn't, what kind of moron thinks that only girls would like that kind of thing? seems kind of backwards to me) this pen is NOT for you. I don't know why they didn't put a clearer warning on the label, they really should have because if you are a boy and use this pen you put yourself at great risk. My little brother turned into a unicorn after I lent him one, and my friend told me that a boy in her class grew fairy wings in the middle of a test.
I'm serious, guys, be careful, these really are just "for her"! BIC, please, recall this product until you've made the warning more explicit to avoid more tragedy!!!”
And P. Davies who writes-"First of all I'm a male. I picked a pink one up by mistake to write a quick note ... Next thing I know I'm sitting down to take a pee. Be careful."
Thank you BIC. You totally made my day!
AND….I’ve decided to make your day and your life ever so much better by giving away a FREE PACK OF BIC Cristal For Her Ballpoint Pens, so you too can ride bikes, go swimming, and wear white again while feeling better about yourself.
All you have to do is leave me a comment telling me how BIC Cristal for her Ballpoint pens would improve your life. Humor doesn’t gain you entries but it will make me laugh.
*Now, for the boring rules of the contest that we all know, don’t care about, but I have to say. I am NOT affiliated with BIC, ballpoint pens, or Amazon. The product I’m offering was purchased by me. With money. This contest is open worldwide. I will choose a winner Friday, September 7 at 12 noon. That’s pm for the noon impaired. Winner will be choose at random by random.org. You MAY get a package similar to the one above…you may get a different looking one. It will, however, be a package of BIC Cristal Ballpoint Pens.