Friday, August 31, 2012

Well, since you asked…Bic makes pens for woman & Giveaway


BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen, 1.0mm, Black, 16ct (MSLP16-Blk)


During a time when there isn’t much to laugh about, BIC comes through with a new product that has elicited some, urrr, interesting responses.

Bic has come up with pens made especially for women. According to Amazon, the Cristal For Her Ballpoint Pens offer:

  • Elegant design - just for her!
  • Medium 1.0 mm point, Black ink
  • Thin barrel to fit a women's hand
  • Medium 1.0 mm point
  • Black ink

How very…quaint. I appreciate the fact that BIC looked at my tiny little embarassing woman hands and decided that the regular “manly” pens were obviously effecting my ability to function in the real world.  0_o  Apparently, others felt the same. The best part in all this is the response it has generated in reviews on Amazon (both US and UK). They have managed to unite the sexes in an onslaught of scathing, hilarious reviews as both the sexes take to their computers to tell BIC exactly what they think of this new product.

M Holloway claims, “I never did very well at school. I wanted to learn and it felt like all the words I needed were right there in my head, but I just couldn't get them onto the paper in front of me. If I really pushed myself, I could sometimes manage to draw pretty flowers in the margins but this didn't please Sir and I was soon in all the bottom sets. What really confused me is that I had no problems in cookery or textiles. At the time I didn't understand why I could grip and use a wooden spoon or sewing needle but couldn't properly hold my black-coloured pen for more than 45 seconds without dropping it on the floor and weeping.
Now I've gone back to night school and hope to realise my ambition of enrolling on a childcare course next year. I'm also halfway through writing an erotic novel set in Victorian times - but with vampires!”

jonny thinks, “This pen is great. I bought it for all my female friends and relatives. It enabled them, finally, to write things (although they may not yet know to do so on paper; but you can only expect so much, really). I thought they were just a bit slow.
My mother, a hard-working woman who raised twelve kids single-handedly whilst doing all the ironing (as nature intended), was furtively abashed by her illiteracy. Long would she gaze upon her husband and sons' scrawlings and would dedicate five minutes a day (which she really should have spent making sandwiches) to pray that one day she would be granted the ability to create such scribbles of her own. She's still a little slow on the uptake, but this product has definitely helped start the ball rolling. We tried to give her men's pens but she used to rip the cartridges out and drink the ink. Typical woman”

Tracy Hamilton gushingly praises BIC…“Someone has answered my gentle prayers and FINALLY designed a pen that I can use all month long! I use it when I'm swimming, riding a horse, walking on the beach and doing yoga. It's comfortable, leak-proof, non-slip and it makes me feel so feminine and pretty! Since I've begun using these pens, men have found me more attractive and approachable. It has given me soft skin and manageable hair and it has really given me the self-esteem I needed to start a book club and flirt with the bag-boy at my local market. My drawings of kittens and ponies have improved, and now that I'm writing my last name hyphenated with the Robert Pattinson's last name, I really believe he may some day marry me! I'm positively giddy. Those smart men in marketing have come up with a pen that my lady parts can really identify with.”

While we all know these are fake reviews, not a novelty on Amazon, they all seem to quote the same theme.

WTH was BIC thinking?

We are even offered warnings by some reviews such as Rachel who warns…”If you identify as male do NOT use this product. The "for her" label is not just a gimmick exploiting archaic gender constructs, it's a WARNING. Even if you're a boy who likes pastels and glitter (which really I don't see why you shouldn't, what kind of moron thinks that only girls would like that kind of thing? seems kind of backwards to me) this pen is NOT for you. I don't know why they didn't put a clearer warning on the label, they really should have because if you are a boy and use this pen you put yourself at great risk. My little brother turned into a unicorn after I lent him one, and my friend told me that a boy in her class grew fairy wings in the middle of a test.
I'm serious, guys, be careful, these really are just "for her"! BIC, please, recall this product until you've made the warning more explicit to avoid more tragedy!!!”

And P. Davies who writes-"First of all I'm a male. I picked a pink one up by mistake to write a quick note ... Next thing I know I'm sitting down to take a pee. Be careful."

Thank you BIC. You totally made my day!

AND….I’ve decided to make your day and your life ever so much better by giving away a FREE PACK OF BIC Cristal For Her Ballpoint Pens, so you too can ride bikes, go swimming, and wear white again while feeling better about yourself.

All you have to do is leave me a comment telling me how BIC Cristal for her Ballpoint pens would improve your life. Humor doesn’t gain you entries but it will make me laugh.

*Now, for the boring rules of the contest that we all know, don’t care about, but I have to say. I am NOT affiliated with BIC, ballpoint pens, or Amazon. The product I’m offering was purchased by me. With money. This contest is open worldwide. I will choose a winner Friday, September 7 at 12 noon. That’s pm for the noon impaired. Winner will be choose at random by You MAY get a package similar to the one above…you may get a different looking one. It will, however, be a package of BIC Cristal Ballpoint Pens.


Little Read said...

I just got a new job in a male dominated industry. I don't think I will be able to fill their shoes. Having a pack of these pens may give me the confidence I need to shine!

But of course since I am a woman and these are not groceries or shoes, I have no clue where to purchase them myself. Please help!

Mariann at Belles Book Bag said...

LOL...I just started a new job and I am still trying to get my desk and supplies in order. I am a office supply whore!!!! My BIG addiction is pens!! I can never have enough and I am very protective of them. LOL So even though I think the idea/marketing of these pens is absolutely ridiculous and had to be thought up by a man, I still have to try them!! Thanks for the chance to win. Have a great Labor Day weekend!! :)

Ferishia said...

I NEED these pens! My life will not be complete unless I have them!!! *sobs uncontrollably*

ferishia said...

I NEED these pens! I used to be able to write on anything with a regular ball point pen. Then one day, tragedy. I was no longer able to write ANYTHING with any pen OR pencil. No matter what I picked up to write with, my hand would shake uncontrollably. My dr. says it's the pens. That unless I get BIC Cristal for her Ballpoint pens, I will NEVER be able to write anything again! I'm turning you to for help! I really REALLY need these. My (handwriting) life depends on it! PLEASE!!

Jen at Red Hot Books said...

Every time I read the word "pens" -- I see "penis." Every. Time.

This is especially funny in the context of this post. Fill in the word "penis" every time you see "pens" and it makes a funny post even funnier!

CdnMrs said...

I've been feeling kind of depressed lately and I think it's because I've fogotten what it means to be a woman. I work just as many hours as my husband and earn almost the same as him. If it wasn't for our unmentionable places, why, we'd almost be exactly the same.
So I've quit my job and I've started wearing dresses and heels again (and not just to work, it's amazing how much fun vaccuuming can be in a set of 5 inch pumps). I've also picked up more womanly hobbies, no more reading, gaming and surfing the Internets for me! Now I enjoy, sittig quietly, mixing my husband drinks and baking with Jello. I think these pens, specifially designed for woman would complete my transformation and make my life more fun than family fun night with my hubby's Mother-In-Law.

Jane said...

I need these pens because they fit my dainty hands better than the usual manly pens.

Brianna (The Book Vixen) said...

I need these pens!! Then when my hubs takes one I can say "Not uh. See that right there - it's says it's for HER. And that would be ME, not YOU."

And let's face it, I think we could all use the ability to turn males into unicorns.

Estella said...

I love pens, and husband would NEVER take one of these.

Steph from said...

Why, little old me, why would I need a pen anyway? Its not like there's anything I need to write down.

But, if I did have soething to say, I would want one of these lovelies. Their just the right size for my delicate feminine hand! Why would I want one of thos nasty thick boy-type pens? Don't forget, always wer]ar an apron while you write with ink; it's hard to get those stains out of your day gown.

June M. said...

Oh, I did enjoy reading those reviews. And finally, some man (you just know) made a pen just for women!!! These are just the greatest invention for us women since someone (had to be a man too) told us to have a HAPPY period!

The Bookworm said...

I've just become a stay at home wife and I NEED some girl safe pens to write down recipes, note bills paid and look after my husbands social Calender! *sarcasm*

But seriously, I'm a stationary whore. I had to have those pens coz they are pretty!

Never That Easy said...

Some of those reviews are totally worth the rest of the ridiculousness.

Shyness said...

At work, I have more than 200 pens.... But they are all green pens... I need something different or I will go crazy. These pens can save me :-)

bn100 said...

I like the colors. I'd like to use something colorful to write with.


Keith Melton said...

This is the review I wrote before Amazon deleted it and made me sad:

"I bought these BIC FOR HER pens for my wife after she informed me that she was done struggling to use my “manly” pens—pens so masculine they must be gripped in *both* hands for muzzle control. Pens so manly, they can be used to conduct an orchestra playing Ode to Joy in the middle of a WWI battlefield (although most focus groups no longer consider classical music as testosterone-empowered enough for the modern male—battlefields are still good, though). Pens so manly they occasionally spontaneously combust. Pens so manly they have their own secret mixture of testosterone in the ink, so that every written word will flex with raw, unbridled power…like a monster truck rally, only on bond paper and involving sentences. Fragmented sentences. Fragmented sentences with lots of manly, grunting Anglo-Saxon words (no French words, please!). Or maybe manly with the manliness of a huge Norwegian guy who bench presses tractor-trailers and juggles bowling balls while tearing through entire phone books with his teeth. A pen so manly it has been endorsed, not only by Chuck Norris, but by MacGyver as the most important masculine-tested improvisational device outside of paperclips and/or duct tape. You can find these masculine writing utensils in the beef jerky and beer section of the store, if you’re interested or feel the need to prove something.

But this review isn’t about those pens.

BIC FOR HER fills a unique gap. One we may not have even noticed needed filling if not for their cunning product design teams. These product design teams saw an entire generation of women blithely using standard pens and decided to make sure those cavalier females knew they were, in fact, doing it wrong.

Now for a personal testimonial. Ever since my wife bought that pink-frame revolver from Charter Arms, she’s been yearning to bring more uselessly gender-specific products into our house. These pens make a bold statement to the world that Grrl Power begins with the written word…as long as the written word is formed with a color-coded, gender-specific tool. Mightier than the sword? Ha! Only if it matches your designer handbag.

Side note of warning: these pens will not work effectively for you if you have hands like Gumby. Pokey, who is color-blind, also has expressed a good deal of ire about pens manufactured in these limited color ranges. Pokey prefers pens with bunnies and/or flowers.

And so do I."

Mrs. C said...

As a librarian, I need these pens. Perhaps they will stay in my pen cup for me, and the girls, to use and not be stolen by the high school boys who think everything is there for them. If one turns into a unicorn--even better-he can be the new mascot. :)

Anonymous said...

I actually need to use the thicker pens & pencils, the doctor pens. I'd be really interested if these lady pens would work. It would be nice, especially if they are less expensive.