Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Saying goodbye


Grief has never an easy emotion for me to express. Anger and joy all come easy, but grief remains a wide chiasm for me to cross.

Growing up, I watched my mother remain stoic and bury her emotions in times of trouble and grief, so in this way, I am exactly like my mother. I’m not sure what to say and the thought of bearing myself like that emotionally to anyone is uncomfortable, to say the least.

My grandmother died yesterday. She had been sick for a long time and fought a long hard battle with Alzheimer's/Dementia. I am ashamed I wasn’t able to spend more time with her as I got older and once she was got sick, but it was hard as she was far away and the thought of seeing her look at me in confusion and possible fear was hard for me to accept.

I was exceptionally close to my Nana growing up as she helped raise me. My Nana was an wonderfully special woman. She throw herself into life, barreling her way through like a hot knife through butter. Her motto was pretty much, “Go ahead…just try not to kill yourself.” She laughed loud and lived large.

I’m going to miss her.

When I'm gone
(also known as) To Those Whom I Love And Those Who Love Me

by Mary Alice Ramish

Release me, let me go.
I have so Many things to see and do.
You mustn't tie your self to me with tears,
Be happy that we had so many years.

I gave you my love and you can only guess,
How much you gave me in happiness.
I thank you for the love you each have shown,
Buth now it's time I traveled on alone.

So grieve awhile for me, if grieve you must
then let your grief be comforted by trust.
It's only for awhile that we must part
So bless the memories whit’in your heart.

I won’t be far away, for life goes on,
So, if you need me, call and I will come.
Though you can't see or touch me, I'll be near,
and if you listen with your heart,
you'll hear all my love around you soft and clear.

And then, when you must come this way alone,
I'll greet you with a smile and say, welcome home.


the_happy_hausfrau said...

Oh Tori...I'm so sorry for your loss. And I can relate, 100%, with the emotional stuff. Hope your grandma is at peace now. Alzheimer's is so cruel.

Gigi's Consignment Closet said...

the_happy_hausfrau- Thank you. I do believe she is in a better place now.

Mandi said...

((hugs)) <3 u Tori!

Amanda Bonilla said...

*HUGS* So sorry for your loss, Tori.