Me: Jeebus
T: What’s wrong?
Me: Can’t you smell that?
T: Smell what?
Me: THAT! That nasty, eye tearing, wanna gag smell.
T: Oh. That was Roscoe.
Me: What the hell did you feed him?
T: Dog food.
Me: And?
T: Some hotdogs.
Me: AND??!
T: Some fish.
Me: You know what that does to him. He’ll be pooting all night.
T: But he was starving.
Me: He weighs over 100lbs. Trust me, he’s not hurting for a meal.
Me: Well take him outside. It smells like arse in here.
T: Hey. He can’t help it. I’ll spray some Lysol.
Me: No, please don’t...
T: *spraying Lysol*
Me: Great. Now it smells like Lysol and arse.
T: There is no pleasing you is there.
Me: No. Now take the dog outside.