The Smoking Gun

I am on my 2.5 day of quitting smoking. I stopped cold turkey after 23 years. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done. If I knew then what I know now I would have NEVER started. I was actually fine the first 8 hrs but that was because I was asleep. Once I woke up the cravings started. I have been chewing straws. Eating olives. Heck, I've taken so many baths I have lost a layer of skin. After 24 hrs I noticed some physical problems. Memory loss. I went to brush my teeth and started crying. Why? Because I couldn't remember which was my tooth brush. My head felt like a bobble head doll head and my eyes couldn't focus. I kept hearing a strange buzzing my ears. As long as everyone left me alone I was ok. But trying to talk was even hard. If I could have taken a Valium I would have. Seriously. On to day 2. My family has tried to be supportive but my nasty disposition is scaring them. Everyone keeps calling me to boost me up but I really want to be left alone. I felt a little better. Still was having some audio sensory problems. Took BP and it was off the charts. I called my Dr and after I told what I was doing he told me I was stupid. We have that kind of relationship. I pay him to insult me. :) He told me that I had smoked to long to quit cold turkey and that I was having severe nicotine withdrawals. So now I am taking about 2 puffs of a cigarette every 2 hrs. I feel somewhat a failure but I figure it's better to fail a little then die. My Dr also told me I needed to think about WHY I started smoking. What makes me smoke. What are my triggers. Hmm......... lets see. Everyone smoked when I started. I mean EVERYONE. It was the thing to do. Jocks, dorks, nerds, ect... So I started too. I actually thought to myself, "I won't get addicted. I can quit anytime." Boy was I stupid. And here I am 23 yrs later trying to save my life. I started smoking Marlboro lights. In the 1980's that was THE brand to smoke. What's funny is that Marlboro is thought to be such a man's brand but it was originally marketed towards wome n. Everywhere I looked was an ad for Marlboro so that was really the only brand I knew and that's what I started with. Fashion and smoking have a long love affair together. Look in any magazine-Harpers, Vogue, Glamour-and you will see beautiful people surrounded by smoking ads. Check the street blogs and more often then not you will find the seemingly random shot of sexy people wearing this years fashion while smoking cigarettes. This ad from the 60s basically tells you that if you blow smoke in a beautiful woman's face she will drop her clothing and, ummm, you know. *wink* Here's a lovely Marlboro ad. Nothing like babies and cigarettes to make a sale. What aggravates me when seeing these ads is that we (the public) KNOW it's wrong yet we allow the advertising. Every time we blog about a designer or a particular picture that features smokers we are legitimatizing it. We all know the harm that smoking causes yet for the sake of looking "cool" we set aside our principals in order to sell our opinions. I myself will be more selective to what blogs I read and what fashions I blog about. My health has suddenly become more important to me.

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