WTH Wednesday-Ebay Strikes Again

As you all know, I sell on Ebay. I've been with ebay for over 10 years even though I recently started my  own website. But I still stay with Ebay because nobody (yet) beats ebay for the traffic.
I also stay with Ebay because I could NEVER get the comedic material from any other site.
Ebay ranks high in traffic but also in complete asshat-ness.
I have dealt with their customer service for years and am always amazed that each time I deal with them their service gets crappier and crappier. I mean really they should have hit rock bottom by now but no...apparently there are levels below that.
Recently a fellow seller posted a "conversation" with Ebay customer service and I have to admit, her experience has mine beat by a mile.
So for WTH Wednesday I bring you a typical phone call between an Ebay seller and Ebay customer service.

Thanks lady*georges for letting me share this on WTH Wednesday.You rock girlfriend!!

Louise - eBay:
Hi lady*georges! I’m Louise and I’m here to answer your questions about eBay. How can I help you?
lady*georges:
Hi, I have a seller for whom I had opened an 'item not as described' case, and won. The case number is 500138922. Both seller and myself are in the US, although item was bid on through eBay UK, as I was browsing eBay UK when Item was bid upon.
Louise - eBay:
I'm afraid I didn't understand your question, please can you ask it more simply?
lady*georges:
I mention the US, because I have a USPS delivery confirmation which I can provide now if need be. The item was returned to the seller on April 14. They have still not refunded me.
Louise - eBay:
I'm afraid I didn't understand your question, please can you ask it more simply?
lady*georges:
More simply - I have won a case against a seller, and they still have not refunded me.
Louise - eBay:
Which of the following best matches your question?
- How do I reimburse the buyer?
- I won an item. What should I do now?
- How can I contact a seller?
- How do I open an eBay case?
lady*georges:
I am afraid that none of those best match my question, please see my last post.
Louise - eBay:
Please can you rephrase your question so that I can try to provide you with the information you need?
lady*georges:
I have not been reimbursed for a case won.
Louise - eBay:
Which of the following best matches your question?
- What is the relist credit policy?
- How do I open an eBay case?
- How do I reimburse the buyer?
- How can I be refunded for eBay fees?
- My item is not as described in the listing. I want a refund
lady*georges:
None
Louise - eBay:
Ok then, perhaps you could tell me in another way what you're looking for?
lady*georges:
What recourse do I have when a seller will not refund me after they have lost a dispute case?
Louise - eBay:
If you paid for something but didn't receive it, or it was significantly different from the item description, you should first contact the seller to try to resolve the situation. Have you contacted the seller yet?
-Yes
-No
lady*georges:
Please read the following carefully.
Louise - eBay:
Please click yes or no. Have you contacted the seller yet?
-Yes
-No
lady*georges:
Yes Louise - eBay:
To report a problem with your seller, go to the Resolution Centre in My eBay and select the appropriate option to open a case. You need to do this within 45 days of paying for your item.

If you paid with PayPal, eBay's Buyer protection programme may apply to your purchase. If it does, you will receive a full refund of the purchase price and postage costs. If you paid using another payment method, you may still be covered.

Sellers accepting credit card payments through an Internet merchant account do not offer their own buyer protection plans, but most credit cards offer buyer protection. You can find the customer support phone number on your bill or on the back of the credit card.

Take our tutorial on buying safely on eBay
Louise - eBay:
Please help us improve eBay by telling us about your experience. Would you like to participate in a short survey?
lady*georges:
Are you willing to read my next posts if I send one sentance at a time?
Louise - eBay:
Which of the following best matches your question?
- How do I print a postage label?
- How can I determine shipping costs?
- I think that postage and packaging charges are high.
lady*georges:
I bought an item
Louise - eBay:
Which of the following best matches your question?
- I won an item. What should I do now?
lady*georges:
When I got that item, it was significantly not as described
Louise - eBay:
I believe I'm about to give you the same answer. Would you like me to show it to you again?
lady*georges:
I contacted seller, no recourse
Louise - eBay:
To report a problem with your seller, go to the Resolution Centre in My eBay and select the appropriate option to open a case. You need to do this within 45 days of paying for your item.

If you paid with PayPal, eBay's Buyer protection programme may apply to your purchase. If it does, you will receive a full refund of the purchase price and postage costs. If you paid using another payment method, you may still be covered.

Sellers accepting credit card payments through an Internet merchant account do not offer their own buyer protection plans, but most credit cards offer buyer protection. You can find the customer support phone number on your bill or on the back of the credit card.

Take our tutorial on buying safely on eBay


Louise - eBay:
Please help us improve eBay by telling us about your experience. Would you like to participate in a short survey?
lady*georges:
I opened a case
Louise - eBay:
What's the issue with your transaction?
-I haven't received my item yet.
-I received an item that doesn't match the seller's description.
-I haven't received my payment yet.
lady*georges:
eBay solved case in my favor.
Louise - eBay:
I believe I'm about to give you the same answer. Would you like me to show it to you again?
lady*georges:
The item was sent back to seller.
Louise - eBay:
Which of the following best matches your question?
- How do I reimburse the buyer?
- How can I contact a seller?
- Should I offer a returns policy?
- Can I return an item?
lady*georges:
With delivery confirmation
Louise - eBay:
Which of the following best matches your question?
- I didn't receive the confirmation email to change my email address
- I'm not receiving emails from eBay
lady*georges:
Since April 14
Louise - eBay:
Which of the following best matches your question?
- What new features have been introduced in April?
- What has changed with the eBay site?
lady*georges:
I have not been refunded.
Louise - eBay:
Which of the following best matches your question?
- How do I reimburse the buyer?
lady*georges:
Are you going to help me with this issue. I am ready to gouge my eye out with a fork.
Louise - eBay:
Which of the following best matches your question?
- How do I report a technical problem on the eBay site?

 *After this you hear a *thud*thud*thud* sound. That is lady*george hitting her head on her desk.

What's sad is there is no technical problems. It's pretty much like that everytime you call.

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