Wednesday, April 14, 2010

WTH Wednesday

I have been following this all weekend and to say I'm heartbroken & sad about this is an understatement.

U.S. Mom Gives Son Up to Russia

Torry-Ann Hanson decided she wanted a child. For reasons unknown she decided to channel her inner Angelina Jolie and looked abroad. There in Russia she found Artyom Savelyev. A beautiful towhead 7 year boy who was in need of a loving home and family. Torry-Ann chose this boy out of 1,000's of children; I'm sure making him think that he was very "special" in her eyes. So after a long and lengthy process, Torry brought Artyom (whom she renamed Justin) home to raise in TN. But 6 months later...Torry places Artyom on a plane with nothing more then a note penned inside his jacket that told whom ever would find him that, "I no longer wish to parent this child," the note read, calling the boy a liability. She was "giving him back." In her decision, Ms. Hansen has sparked an international debate that will bring repercussions that will be felt for a while. As I write this, Ms Hansen and her family are not speaking to anyone on advice of their lawyer. So unfortunately we do not know why Ms Hansen & her mother felt that their only option was to stick a 7 yr old on a plane, alone, telling him that he was going on a trip, and wishing him Bon Voyage. This story rips at my heart on so many levels. First of all...THIS IS A CHILD. Not a broken coffee pot or lamp. The are no 90 day money back guarantees on children. You don't "return" a child and say, "Oops, I made a mistake." Torry-Ann Hansen adopted that child and had a responsibility to look out for his well being just as if he were born to her. That is what adoption is. Anything less cheapens the act and devalues the child. If the boy was exhibiting behavior issues a normal parent would take him to a doctor to be checked out and medical and/or counseling steps could be taken to assist the child and the family. To date nothing has been released to indicate that these women attempted these interventions....IF the child actually had any issues in the first place. According to the TN DCF(Department of Family & Children) Hansen was visited by the agency in January and March, but didn't report problems at that point. In fact, the adoption agency reports that in December Hansen was so thrilled with Artyem she began asking about a second child. The agency told her to wait and allow Artyem to settle. Instead, Hansen contacted a second agency inquiring about adopting from Georgia,l A Russian lawyer claims that Ms Hansen's mother did contact her by email about annulling an adoption process. That was the one and only time she heard from them. What mother sends back her unruly child to if she feels she cannot handle it? He was only in the household for 6 months. Now, allegations are surfacing that Hansen and her mother may have abused Artyem and the other children in the Hansen home. Artyem has told officials that he had not eaten anything in days except for the sweets. No school records(public or home schooling) exist (at this time) for him and other children in the home. Artyem has told Russian officials that "his mother & grandmother often yelled at him and pulled his hair." Having read many comments from other viewers about this story I am amazed at the number of people who are saying that perhaps it was for the best that Ms Hansen sent him back. I mean, after all, he was "flawed". She shouldn't have to "deal" with an emotionally disturbed child. The agency lied and didn't tell her everything. Really? I wonder how everyone would have responded had he: A. been her birth child or B. been an US adoptee. Somehow I think the comments would be much different. When I became pregnant with my daughter I was never told she would be born at 26 weeks. I was never told that if that happened I would incur a $500,000.00 dollar hospital bill. I was not told that everyday she would struggle for her to live while in hospital. I was not told that I would be looking at possible mental, emotional, and definite medical problems. I was never told I would have to fight daily with Dr's and nurses who wanted to "experiment" on my child. I was not told that my child may develop severe separation anxiety. I was never told she'd develop severe allergy & sinus problems. I was never told she would have problems in math. Should I send her back since I wasn't informed of possible problems? Of course not. This is my baby and I love her more then my life. I don't envy the parents who deal with child who have psychological problems. It takes a great deal of patience and love to deal with mentally & emotionally traumatized children and my heart goes out to them. But there are no guarantees when you have a child. You can be the best person in the world and have a difficult child. But that is the chance you take. In researching adoptions I was AMAZED at the number of stories of parents trying to "divorce" themselves from their adoptive children. WTH??? *shaking my head* AGAIN folks...children aren't disposable. You don't keep returning until you get the one you like. It really makes me wonder about the screening process. For the parents. All in all we may never know what exactly happened as I'm sure Russia will NEVER allow Artyem to set foot in the US again, and I don't blame them. Russia is now considering freezing the adoption process to the US for now until treaties are in place to allow for better control over what happens to Russian adoptees after they enter the US. This will certainly effect the 100's of parents who are currently in the process of adopting a Russian child. But Ms Hansen and her mother treated Artyem as though he were a possession that didn't work anymore. So they packed his little bag and returned him marked as defective merchandise. And to me that is unforgivable.


Anonymous said...

This is horrible. Beyond horrible.
My brother has severe mental disorders. We were rasied by my father. Notice I said my father. Our mother cheated on my father shortly into their marriage and had my brother. When they got divorced my father adopted my brother and took both of us. Even when my brother was making everyone in the house insane with his problems (he has multiple personality disorder and one of them is bi-polar) my dad never said "That's it. I am sending back." That lady is a total asshole.

Smokinhotbooks said...

Throw her arse in jail. Once you adopt a child that child becomes your responsibility can't she get in trouble for abandonment and child welfare issues?