Friday, April 1, 2011

Well since you asked…I’m outta here

I am leaving Smexy Books. Yes, the time has come for me to go out on my own. Frankly, I cannot deal with the sexual harassment anymore. I have acquired an attorney for representation but he has informed me I cannot sue someone for not allowing me to harass them.

Mandi has also become completely unreasonable to my requests. I don’t think asking for cute little cherubs to rub my back while I’m reading isn’t too much to ask…do you? Also, her insistence that I love Starbucks is over the top and borders on cruelty.

The final straw came with her barrage of  naughty naked manly part pictures. I can tolerate many things but as a good God fearing wife, the constant parade of naked men is an affront…an AFFRONT I TELL YOU…to my virgin eyes.

So, if anyone needs a good, wholesome, non starbucks drinking, virgin eyeball, sexual harassing reviewer…please contact me at itaprilfoolsdaystupid@gmail.com with a list of your credit card numbers numbers, last 5 sexual partners, which #BDB bro you love, and how much bacon your willing to send me per book I review.

 

Thank you

10 comments:

Lily of Darkness said...

LOL good one babe!

Pamela {Spaz} said...

HAHAHA you got me! I was freakin at first when I saw your tweet :P

Mandi said...

Damn it!!! Embrace the parade of nekkid men!!! And double damn it - starbucks is the BEST!!!! I only insisted you drink a dozen Starbucks a day..come on Tori!!

Kevin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kevin said...

Wow, looks like I'm not the only one constantly offended by the art gallery of nudity in my home. Obviously in "art gallery", I'm referring to my wifes' insatiable need to parade her book covers all over my home. Starting Smexybooks was enough, not only do I need to now listen to BFlo all day, but stare at these naked men all night. I mean - enough is enough! I know, you could probably tell me to simply not look at the covers... alas, there is no escaping this mountain of male objectivity I call a home.

Smash Attack! said...

So wrong!!!!!!!! :)

Gigi's Consignment Closet said...

Lily-Danke

Pam-LOL Like I'd ever leave my beloved chalamalamala.

Mandi-Just give me the cherubs. That's all I ask.

Kevin-(((hugs)))I can't imagine the horror that is your life. *shaking head sadly* You want some cherubs too? :P

Smash Attack!-I know right?

Jenny said...

Okay, seriously, I forgot what day it was and read Mandi's post and flew over here thinking I'd missed some great announcement and you were leaving and I was about ready to be both sad and pissed at you. You can never leave Tori, you are stuck with all of us;) And it takes a strong woman to deal with all the naughty naked manly part pictures, you are remarkable for your tolerance - keep taking them for the team Tori!

Gigi's Consignment Closet said...

Jenny-LOL I shall continue to "take one for the team". It's a burden but I shall triumph.

Nicola O. said...

LOLz -- nicely done.