or at least according to Harold Camping it is.
According to Mr. Camping, the end of the world is this Saturday, 21 May, to be precise. He has confidently predicted the Second Coming of the Lord. At about 6pm, he has said that 3% of the world's population will be immediately "raptured" to Heaven; the rest of us will are riding the short bus to hell.
Now, Mr. Camping predicted the worlds end about 15 years ago too. He claimed that the world was going to end on September 6, 1994 but when this failed to come to pass he claimed certain biblical references hadn’t been at his disposal at the time. Uh huh.
So while I’m not placing all my bets on Mr. Camping and cashing in my bank accounts to shoot craps in Vegas…I thought maybe I should prepare a little list of what to do when the world ends. You know, just in case.
Things To Do Because The World Is Ending:
1. Deodorant is your friend. Rapture, smapture…there is no excuse for bad hygiene.
2. Grab some booze and wings. Seriously-the end of the world is going to bring some crazy crap. Do you REALLY want to face it sober? I added wings because, well, everything is better with buffalo wings.
3. Tell everyone what you REALLY think about them. Get it out now because I’m pretty sure all trash talk stops at the pearly gates.
4. Toss out those exercise tapes & DVDs. The world’s ending-who cares if you arse is tight or your boobs are perky.
5. Drink from the carton. Lick you fingers and eat straight from the peanut butter jar. Be a rebel!
6. Make sure your wearing clean underwear. I don’t know why but my mom drilled it into me that you should always wear clean underwear when something important is happening.
7. Dress up as your favorite superhero character. Strut yourself baby!
8. Take your car out and see if you really can bury the speedometer.
9. Call in sick to work. Tell them the world is ending and you need time to prepare.
10. Go around singing- REM’s It’s The End of the World- at the top of your lungs.
8 comments:
Hmmm....maybe I'll add shaving my legs to that list, never know who I might meet waiting in line!
Jenn3128-You got a point. :)
Great. Now I'm craving buffalo wings.
Amber-Me to. *sigh* :)
Never heard of this guy or his predictions, but I think your list is pretty spot on! Love the clean underwear-our moms think alike. Mine always adds that you should never leave the house without "doing your face-some mascara and lipstick go a long way". And even though it's only 9:18 a.m....buffalo wings sound good!
Tori, thank you for for this valuable information. I'm running to the store to stock up in wings and booze. Oh &%+^ I almost forget the deodorant... Thank you again, and if you don't hear from me is because our bunker doesn't have internet connection.
Helyce-My mom was always saying, "Make sure your wearing nice underwear,. What if your in an accident? Like clean underwear will help or something. LOL Wings are ALWAYS good.
BookaholicCat-I will come find your drunk butt. Promise! :)
ROFLMAO OMG, you are my favorite person EVAH.
*sings* ...and I feel fiiiiiine!
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