My advice to those who neither asked for it nor want it.
Dear The Situation, Bad enough you got your arse beat for not keeping your mouth shut, your crying afterwards because you were “lonely” *sniff* and sniffing your baba just ruined whatever street cred you might have had. Pull up your big boy pants and suck it up.
Dear Snooki, All I can tell you is that any man who calls you up and constantly tells you what an embarrassment you are is not worth dating. If you have to change who and what you are to make some one happy-that’s not love. Kick his arse to the curb girl, your famous. You need him like you need a larger chest.
Dear Ronnie & Sammi, For the love of God…LET. IT. GO. You two are terrible for each other and watching your dramatic break ups has gone from entertaining to boring. I’d rather eat nails then listen to you two beat that dead horse AGAIN!
Dear Deena, You truly kill me. Don’t change. Except for the flower in your hair. Change that.
Dear Pauly, One day you are gong to meet the girl of your dreams and karma will have her calling a cab to get rid of you. Just saying.
Dear J Woww, Amazingly enough, you are the most rational sane person in that house. May the force be with you.
Dear Vinny, I like you. I really do. But your going to have to catch an STD or hijack a police car if you want to keep running with these big boys. Your just too nice.
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