The killing fields aka my yard

 

What I want

 

 

 

What I got

 

 

It’s official. My yard is a plant cemetery. Plants come here to die.

Houston….we have a problem

 

I'm sure you’ve noticed my posting on the blog has been sporadic. If you haven’t noticed, I’m going to still pretend you can’t sleep at night because the anticipation of wanting to know tomorrows post keeps you up at night.

*clearing throat*

Anyway. I am having internet and hardware problems. My fan has gone out on my desktop, my laptop is slowing committing suicide, and my internet goes in and out all day long. I am in the process of fixing it all but it will take time. So I will be posting infrequently as I can’t maintain a connection long enough to type a few sentences.  It took me 3 days to get this one to post and I really feel I should save my temper tantrums for my work related items.

So please, don’t leave me yet. I’ll be back, I promise.

Pleeeeaaasseeee.

 

*sob*

How I feel

With the battles that are looming on our homefront-the rage that seems to exist between each and everyone of us because of our race, color, gender, and sexuality-I felt that this poem by Dylan Thomas reflects how I  am feeling at the moment.

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieve it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Even though Dylan Thomas wrote this for his father, who was dying, the sentiments behind the words is universal. In here we see that we don’t have to accept adversity. We do not need to accept something simply because it is happening. We all have the ability to stand and fight even though defeat seems inevitable. Each and everyone of us is such a wonderful mix of diversity and experiences, yet some view that diversity as a crime and try to destroy rather then celebrate those differences.

I will not go gently into the night. I choose to scream, yell,and dig in my heels until to I draw my very last breath.

 

*Poem is courtesy of All Poetry.

Tempting Thursday…Magic Mike Trailer

 

We have all been waiting with breathless anticipation for some sort of trailer or sneak peek since the making of Magic Mike was revealed back at Christmas. Well hallelujah!!! The wait is over.

 

Your welcome.

 

http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/wb/magicmike/

Well, since you asked….I’m at the beach, baby

Don’t hate.

5 things for Monday

As if John Paul Gautier wasn’t creepy enough.

In his newest job as creative director for Diet Coke, Gaultier appears in a series of videos starring himself as "The Serial Designer," a character who comes to the rescue of hapless, badly-dressed puppets. The latest video features Bernadette, a puppet who has a nightmare that she's too hung over to go to a job interview. Luckily, Gaultier appears in her dream just in time to zip her into a nice Gaultier dress. There is one bad moment where Gauliter begins to remove her robe and all you can think is, “OMG…he's going to violate the puppet!” Never fear, he’s only dresses her better. Whew. That was close.

Need to know how to survive a zombie attack?

Well, never fear. Vulture.com has it all put together for you. They asked twenty leading experts—screenwriters, game designers, neuroscientists, Stephen King—for their most practical advice. Go here to read, plan, and prepare.

This why I continue to love Regretsy.com

Who loves mustaches? I LOVE mustaches.

Plasticland a retro kitsch and clothing company has mustache paraphernalia.
I mush have these.

Kawaii Mustache Earrings $14.00

And on a sad note…

My Blackberry committed suicide this weekend. Apparently it was sad that it no longer had the ability to direct connect anymore and decided life was no longer worth living.

On a happy note….

I am now the proud owner of a Samsung Transformer

WTH Wednesday…why you should NEVER friend your family on facebook

We all use Facebook. Great way to keep in touch with friends, stay abreast of current events, and share LOLs. Sometimes, in our quest for more captives, I mean friends, our common sense goes on hiatus and we rush to press YES to mom, dad, or siblings friend requests.

This is why that is never a good idea.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And the best one EVAH! This poor guy. LOL

 

Well, since you asked…T wants to “investigate”

 

T: Hear that?

Me: Nope.

T: You don’t hear those sirens?

Me: Nope

T: The helicopters?

Me: Nope.

T: Are you deaf?

Me: What?

T: Fine. I’m going to go look.

Me: Why?

T: Because I want to know what’s going on.

Me: Your nosy.

T: No, I’m inquisitive.

Me: Nosy.

Me: Don’t you think that multiple sirens and helicopters are an indication you should stay INSIDE?

T: Nope.

*disappears in bedroom and reappears a few minutes later*

Me: Why are you dressed like Rambo?

T: I can’t investigate without the proper gear.

Me: Really? Don’t you think full camo and black paint are a bit much?

T: I can’t let the enemy see me.

Me: The enemy?

T: *whispers* The criminals.

Me: What is that sticking out of your back pocket? Is that the kid’s magnifying glass?

Me: Have you taken your meds today?

T: Aw, come on. I want to go investigate, collect evidence, solve a crime. Like CSI.

Me: You need to lay off the coffee and take that crap off before you get yourself arrested.

T: Ohhh, think they’ll let me sit up front and run the sirens?

Me: WHEN you get arrested for hindering a police investigation, do not call me. I don’t know you.

Well, since you asked…thank you Captain Obvious

Why is it that people think you go through life oblivious to things until they point them out to you? Things that are glaringly apparent to you and the rest of the free world with mere look in the mirror.

Recently I took the kid to the Dr for a check up. Her primary Dr has taken on some new partners and we saw one of them instead. I’m going to be perfectly honest here and say my child is a little overweight. She exercises, eats good, and we have found no inherent problems so we aren’t sure why this is, but it is what it is, though we are still examining causes. On a side note, I believe her being a preemie and some of the steroids they gave her as a child contributed to it.

Anyway-I KNOW she overweight. She KNOWS she is overweight. We are vigilant and working on it. Yet for some reason this new Dr felt the need to point it out, in front of the kid, in a  condescending manner that suggested this was a big secret she had to impart to us.

To say I was a little defensive is putting it mildly. First off, I truly despise that false sounding voice that is suppose to inspire comradely but really just sets your teeth on edge. It’s a voice that translates to, “I think your an idiot, so I’m going to use little words and a warm tone so you don’t realize I think your an idiot.”

News flash-I know you think I’m an idiot and guess what? I think your one too. Then, for her to look at me and say, “I’m sure you’ve realized she is overweight and something needs to be done,” made me want to punch her in the throat.

Seriously?

Did you think I didn’t know that? This is my child. I’ve lived with her for 10 years. I know EVERYTHING about her. Sometimes, she tells me more then I want to know. :) If you had bothered to look at her chart you’d know we had been coming here for 6 years and have had multiple tests done, weigh ins, consultations, ect… Your not imparting surprising news to me. The fact she did that in front of my child had me rearing my head back to strike her down in a move worthy of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Sometimes I wonder if some people just weren’t meant to be working with the public. They reek of insecurity and fear, exhibiting a stiffness that just screams, “Kill me!!!! Kill me now because I am so freaking uncomfortable I will socially cut myself off at the knees every time I open my damn mouth.” Now I understand why the doctors are concerned, but to completely ignore the kid’s files before speaking to me shows a lack of communication and caring. Plus, it hurt her feelings.

I proud to say I didn’t not use my powers for evil and fry her arse on the spot, but I did have a talk with her while the kid was occupied and let her know that her bedside manner needed some work. I also let her know that what’s obvious to her is probably obvious to everyone and I didn’t need to know the problem (I get it-trust me) I need  solutions.

So in retrospect, if you feel a “Captain Obvious” moment coming on and your need to speak is beginning to over ride your brain screaming for you to STFU, remember what’s obvious to you is also probably obvious to whom you are speaking to. 

5 for Monday

1. Louis Vuitton hasn’t made a new fragrance since the 1930’s but they have confirmed that they are  in the process of making one now. The French fashion house will be working with “master perfumer” Jacques Cavallier-Belletrud on the scent. We can thank Cavallier-Belletrud for Dior Addict, Poeme by Lancôme as well as many others. No release date set but I’m sure it’ll be well worth it’s price.

 

 

 

 

2. It’s Girl Scout cookie time!!  Yes, that time where thousands of earnest little girls, dressed in carbon copy outfits, prey on the weak (like me), hawking these tiny little boxes of goodness. It was announced recently that there is a new cookie called Savannah Smiles.

“Celebrate the anniversary of the Girl Scouts with these bite-sized, lemon-wedge cookies dusted in powdered sugar and bursting with lemon flavor. Enjoy these delightful treats, remember where Girl Scouts began …and smile.”

Send ‘em my way please.

Ever wonder what your choice of cookie says about you? Here’s a little guide that will divulge deep into your inner psyche and release your inner cookie secrets.

 

 

 

3. I haz a sad. Rumors are flying that Johnny Depp is breaking things off with his long time companion Vanessa Paradis. While I’m saddened to hear this; they have been together 14 years, have two children together, and you never, EVER hear anything bad about them, I also got to thinking…who Johnny should hook up  if and when the ax severs this 14 year relationship? I say Winona Ryder. Already dated, knows her crazy like the back of his hand, and he can get the tattoo reworked again.

 

 

 

4. Wanna see what the Jersey Shore stars looked like in their high school days? Yea, me neither but if I have to suffer, so do you. See full galley here.

 

 

 

5. Merry Christmas!!! Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, the couple from hell, Courtney Stodden and her deranged pervie husband Doug Hutchinson, apparently made a holiday video that really puts Santa in a new and unflattering light. NSFW or anywhere else. Video here. Any seizures, sudden blindness, or subsequent therapy sessions needed after viewing are all on you.

Hmmm, this is not what I asked for Christmas

It seems the stress of the holidays and other family issues has garnered me a holiday cold. So enjoy a past post while I down some nyquil and go blissfully to lala land for a visit. This convo between me and T has always been a personal fav of mine. I hope you enjoy too.

To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before…Conversations with a Trekie

Hubs: So the 3 dots means Commander and the 2.5 dots means LT Commander?
Me: Huh?
Hubs: Reiker has 3 dots and Troy  has 2 and 1/2 dots. I’m trying to learn their insignias.
Me: What are talking about?
Hubs: Star Trek Next Generation. You never listen to me.
Me: I do to.
Hubs: Whatever. Anyway, I’m writing down what rank everyone is so I know who and what they are.
Me: Why?
Hubs: So when I meet them I know what’s what. I don’t want to call Reiker Captain when he is obviously a Commander.
Me: Uh huh… you know he just PLAYS a Commander right?
Hubs: Bite your tongue woman! If Diana Troy teleported down here right now, your arse would be replaced in a heart beat. They live among the stars. They go bravely forth into new worlds. They boldly go where no man has gone before.
Me: Your scaring me.
Hubs: You should watch with me. This is educational.
Me: Educational?
Hubs: Astronomy. Hellooo? Planets, solar systems, new life forms.
Me: Are you taking your meds?
Hubs: Oh that Data. He’s hilarious.
Me: Uh huh.
Hubs: Your just jealous.
Me:  Why is that?
Hubs: ‘Cause they would like me better.
Me: Sure they would. Crazy people always bond together.
Hubs: OoooO…I need one of those.
Me: One of what?
Hubs: That communicator pin. Just hit and I could talk to you from anywhere.
Me: You have something like that. It’s called a cell phone.
Hubs: Stop dissing on my parade woman!
Hubs: When do you think they’ll make new episodes.
Me: The show ended in 1994.
Hubs: WHAT?!?!?!
Me: Yep. They have all retired and now hang out in the lounge getting drunk and telling lies.
Hubs: They can’t end it. I must complain. Who do I write to?
Me: Complain about what? It’s O.V.E.R. It’s been over for like 16 years.
Hubs: *sobbing softly on the couch* It’ll never be over for me. Never.

Well, since you asked…things we’d like to say to our kids but probably shouldn’t

Sponge Bob looks like a weenie. Can’t we take down that stupid poster and put up something cool-like this velvet Elvis?

Well, I sign your father’s name to all the holiday cards so people don’t know realize what an insensitive clod I married.


Yes, the Dentist is scary as hell.

Okay, the hamster wasn’t playing freeze tag when we found him this morning.

Loud farts are hilarious.

Sometimes I do have a favorite child and some days it’s not even a child who lives in this house.

 I know I told you spitting was nasty but that kid was seriously asking for it. *high five*

I know your teacher told you everyone is equal, but your actually the funniest, smartest, most beautiful child in your class. In the whole school. Hell, in the whole wide world. (Actually, I do tell my child this) :)

WTH Wednesday-Sometimes less is more

While I enjoy a festive decorated house for the holidays, I think the fashion rule of less is more should be applied. Put all your accessories on then take one thing off because less is more and you don’t want to look like a jewelry store just threw up on you.
In the following pictures, they should have taken 2, 3, 4, maybe even 5 things off.




Pick a theme people…pick a theme.


Being rich doesn’t give you good taste. Just saying.


The strippers don’t perform till 8pm.


It’s a Hoarders Christmas!


How the hell do you get back into the house?


I really don’t know what to say besides-there house has a freaking crown!! I wants so bad.


“Santa ain’t missing us this year damn it!”



It was all good did they added the 2 little reindeer in front. Overkill!!

Well, since you asked…T is great

As some may know, my husband was in a car accident yesterday. Thank you for all your well wishes! A full head on collision that he was able to walk away from. I am VERY thankful that he was not seriously injured and is here for me to make fun of.

He has some bumps, bruises, sprains and a smooshed pinky finger but the Dr has him on some strong pain pills which keeps him nice and pliant. I just thought I would share T’s first day after the accident.

 

Me: How you feeling honey?

T-hmmm

Me: That good huh? You need anything?

T-hmmm

Me: Over easy or scrambled?

T: hmmm yup

Me: Do you need something to drink?

T: gah fram da

Me: I don’t think we have any of that but how about some tea?

T: Ha na bum da

Me: Excuse me?

T: Jusssss me pop

Me: I’m sorry…what?

T: KEEEE NAAAAA Pffttt

Me: There is no need for that kind of language mister!

T: Bum da

Me: I love you too sweetie. *muah*

5 things for Monday

1. Three Woman Warriors Win The Nobel Peace Prize

The 2011 Nobel Peace Prize was presented to three activists and political leaders on Saturday for “their nonviolent struggle for the safety of women and for women’s rights” as peacemakers. The awards were presented to President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf of Liberia, 73; her compatriot Leymah Gbowee, 39, a social worker and a peace activist; and Tawakkol Karman, a Yemeni journalist and a political activist who, at 32, is the youngest Peace Prize laureate and the first Arab woman to receive the award.

In a statement announcing the award winners on Oct. 7, the Nobel committee said it hoped the prize would “help to bring an end to the suppression of women that still occurs in many countries.”

 

 

2. Why Romance Novels Are Dangerous

A fabulous video that explains the danger of romance novels.

 

 

3. Orange You Glad the Color for 2012 Is Tangerine?

Pantone has spoken and the new hot color for 2012 is Tangerine Tango.
Quoted as being an electric orange red that is  warm, uplifting, and energizing, and it happens to look great with almost every skin tone. Fashion designers have already incorporated the color into their 2012 Spring lines.

 
  H&M Cocktail Dress-$49              J Crew Mona Patent Pumps-$218

 

4. Fergie Gave Me A Sad

Never mind she wears some god awful clothing-the fact she willing went out in public wearing a dress she couldn’t zip close makes me very sad for her.

 

5. Whew! The Penguins Are Nekkid Again

The penguins that were lovingly clothed in sweaters to prevent them from preening toxins off their feathers following an oil spill near New Zealand are running around nekkid once again. Good Morning America shouwed a video of the more than 300 affected penguins being released back into the wild, now wearing microchips. Each had to pass a "check-up and six hour swim test to show they're regaining their natural water-proofing."

Awwww. You can watch the video here.

WTH Wednesday-Keeping the holidays awkward

Nothing says Merry Christmas like an awkward family photo.

 

 
Notice dad put his foot down when it came to his outfit.

 

 

Santa looks scared.

 

 

 
Apparently the holidays are mysterious and confusing for some families.

 

 

 
When crazy seeps into the holidays.

 

 

Santa excites me too.

 

 

 
Oops, looks like Santa’s been a little naughty himself.

 

 

 
Somethings are better left unsaid. Or in this case, un shown.

 

 

 
Johnny decided that this photo op only needed one star-him.