T-HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY!!!
Me-YEA!!! *clapping hands* Presents for me.
Me-YEA!!! What is it?
T-It’s a GPS.
Me-Cool. Thank you honey.
T-Well, I know how hard it is for you to get anywhere without getting lost.
Me-Heyyyy I don’t get lost all the time.
T-It took you 3 hours to get home from Orlando last week.
Me-I was taking the scenic route.
T-Towards Tampa?
Me-Like I said, the scenic route.
T- I can’t believe you don’t know East from West.
Me-Do so.
T-Point towards the East.
Me-*waving finger in a general direction* It’s over there.
T-That’s North.
Me-Well then over there *waving finger randomly again*
T-That’s West.
Me-Well the whole North, South, East, West thing is stupid. What ever happened to the good old days when you just went past Old Farmer Johnson’s barn and made a left at the burned oak tree.
T-That stopped about the same time Heehaw went off the air.
Me-Damn…I loved Hee Haw. *singing* “We don’t want to go ‘round spreadin’ rumors…”
T-Anyway…put it in the car and use it. I can’t handle the calls anymore.
Me-Can I program in sponge bob's voice?
Me-Heyyyyyyy. What calls?
T-The “OMG I’m lost and some SOB pushed me onto the 512 and I have no idea where I’m at and I can’t find a gas station and I have to pee!!!!!”
Me-That must be your girlfriend because I know my way around the block.
T-That’s the only place you know your way around.
